Well, it is the new year. 2012. How many times have I resolved to lose weight? Countless. It's not like I don't accomplish what I set out to do, it is my reverting back to unhealthy habits and always listening to Loretta that lands me right back where I started. I have let Loretta be the boss, the dictator. No more, I say!
Loretta has been quite aloof the past few days. She has little faith in me. She is used to always getting her way. Today Loretta was very pleased with herself while she made the simple task of putting on socks most uncomfortable for me. She didn't put on a huge production, but I heard her snickering as my breathing became labored and my face reddened during the struggle. She may think it's funny, but I, on the other hand, cannot believe I've let her get this far.
Loretta buried herself beneath my sweatshirt today as we made our way through the grocery stores buying healthy foods. Loretta became a little vocal and began to growl in the cereal aisle. I ignored her.
I believe Loretta will rear her ugly head tomorrow during the season premiere of Biggest Loser. She is going to watch and she is going to do the elliptical while she is watching. I guarantee she will not be happy. Loretta prefers to eat a big bowl of buttered popcorn while watching the Biggest Loser. Loretta has already smirked at one of the BL contestants, boasting, "Hell, I weigh more than she does!"
Loretta has made it through her first day of Weight Watchers. We are not going to bore everyone with the weight and how much I lose each week... anyone can do that. We are going to follow the steady destruction and ultimate demise of Loretta through words and photos. We will occasionally discuss healthy recipes, exercise tips and the joy of TAKING LORETTA DOWN!
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