gaining support

I am gaining support from friends and family.  The word is out that Loretta is being kicked to the curb.  Everyone is aware of Loretta, I mean for Christ's sake, she always enters the room before I do,but most people are not on a first name basis with her.  I am becoming comfortable telling others of our impending breakup.

Loretta has, for the past year, decided she is not going to involve herself in any kind of exercise.  The only thing Loretta is interested in is eating.  Loretta says things like, "don't take the stairs" and "two doughnuts, how bad can that really be?" 

Loretta also knows what day of the week it is.  Saturday is her favorite day of the week.  There are times she wakes up and even before I can open my eyes, she is begging me to drive her to 'the hill' to Gioia's (corner of Macklind and Dagget in St. Louis *plug*) to have a hot salami sandwich, bag of chips and a soda.  Now, if you've never been to Gioia's for a hot salami sandwich, you just are not living right.  It is awesome!  It is 1/4 inch thick slices of hot salami, lettuce, tomato, peppercinis, mustard and mayo. It, of course, is offered as 6 inches or 9 inches (stay out of the gutter here folks, we are talking food!).  The calorie conscious would split the 6 inch sandwich and I have been known to split the 9 inch - under vehement protest from Loretta, but there is nothing better than Loretta's recommendation of 9 inches all for yourself!  See how she is?

Loretta, your days are numbered.... I have SUPPORT!!

no closer to goodbye

Loretta still seems to have the upper hand, total control of the relationship.  Loretta will not agree to a breakup during the holidays.  She insists that Christmas is just no time to say goodbye.  I know her though, she will put up obstacles around every corner.  Loretta has now seen Christmas come and go and she had her way; pulling me through the food line at the Lococo's Christmas Eve party with reckless abandon.  Next will be New Year's Eve at the Drunken Fish.  I don't stand a chance of controlling Loretta there.  Loretta loves sushi.  There are days when I hear Loretta whispering, "sushi, sushi, sushi".  And, of course, what goes better with sushi than martinis. Yum, yum, yum.  After a couple martinis even Loretta looks pretty damn good.  Loretta and I have been at this impasse before; struggling to find ourselves without the other. 

Loretta needs to come to the realization... it is over between us.  I will allow her one last hurrah at the Drunken Fish on New Years Eve 2011, but that it is, Loretta.

Today was not the day for goodbye

How do I break things off with Loretta when there is a constant parade of foods at my office?  I know, "just say NO".  I will, I really will; I just didn't today.  Shhhh, Loretta may hear you.

GOODBYE LORETTA.

Preparing to say "goodbye" to Loretta

It surely won't be easy, but I really have to do it.  Have you ever had to just say goodbye because you know the relationship is so unhealthy?  It's so hard to do.  It's a very complicated relationship.  I want to hang on, maintain, perhaps even expand, but no.  It is time to find the courage to make the break.  The holiday season is upon us; Christmas just around the corner.  I can not let holidays stand in my way.  Holidays are excuses.  No one wants to say goodbye during the holidays, any holiday!  Yes, Loretta is a part of me; she and I pretend to be so happy together.  The truth is Loretta is TOXIC!  Loretta is a BITCH.  And I'm not talking the female dog variety, I'm talking the real thing here..... Loretta is my totally out of control midriff.  When Loretta arrived, uninvited I might add, she was very unassuming.  I was taken by surprise when I noticed Loretta had just 'moved in'.  She has pretty much taken over the relationship.  She has caused me to overflow each and every pair of pants I own, she has all of my shirts stretched to their maximum, she has even recruited my thighs as her BFFs. Oh, how she infuriates me.  We are done.  It's over.

GOODBYE LORETTA!